Amazing at what we let pass us by in life. Not one to dwell on past mistakes, mishaps, or regrets. Always one to see the bright side of a gloomy situation. Smiles in the face of adversity. One that is always there for that shoulder to cry on. But, I feel I could have done a better job in a certain episode. Felt this way for a little while but it was recently solidified. Feel I could have put forth a valiant effort. Any type of effort. Feels that I should have nip things in the bud on a prior and make a move on a new. But, ol school, hard-headed Izzo sticks to his guns. Didn't pick up on hints, cues or body language. Made an assumption. The incorrect one at that. Only one person to blame. *Looks into mirror and salutes self*
Not the first time. Probably won't be the last. Strangely this one stings a lot more. Normally, I have no f*cks to give. But, all the f*cks were given in this case. Feels like I fumbled at the goaline. Right there for the taking and didn't reach out and grab it to secure it. Played it cool like it didn't bother, but it truly did. Has for awhile. A man always knows when something is better than the rest. A greater man makes an effort to possess great things. On my path to be that greater man..
Turns on iPod, selects shuffle on my "Slow Groove" playlist. This dreary day culminates with "Next Lifetime" by Erykah Badu providing the soundtrack of this strange 24hr marathon. Ironic...too ironic *face palm*
-CoolStoryIzzo
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Amazing...
It's simply amazing how there are so few men taking pride in being fathers in our present time. People say that doing things you're suppose to do should not be praised or rewarded. In this case, I beg to differ.
I was raised in a two parent household until the age of 13, in where my father moved out of our household. Mother, a stay at home mom, had to pick up a job to feed her one and only. I can count on my hand how many times I've seen him since I was 13/14. I'm 29 now. This is a major problem. Not for me, not in OUR community, but in our society.
I've shed my tears and punched walls many years ago over this matter. But, it is something that still creeps up on you and makes you wonder what possesses a man not to want to care or be apart of his/her child's life. It's not something I can even come close to empathize. The pure foundation of being a man is having a sense of responsibility. A man who is not there financially or emotionally for their children is not a man. No IFS, ANDS OR BUTS about it. One thing that I am certain of, is that there is a positive correlation between the lack of fathers in our households and the number of black men filling our prisons. No one can tell me any different, but that's a story for another day.
Many events over the past 12 months have put things into focus for me. Things that I thought were deep into my past have reared its ugly head once again. As a man who does not let much get to him or someone to get over on him, I've learned that some things are just meant to be let go. But one this is for certain, I wake up every single day trying to be a better man. A man who is cordial with everyone he meets. One that greets people with a smile. A man who treats people exactly the way he likes to be treated. But, most of all, I've striven to be a better man than my father ever was. I don't know if it's the right thing to shoot for, but damnit I know it's the greatest motivator I've been given. It's the path less taken, but it's the only path I'm accustomed to taking.
I was raised in a two parent household until the age of 13, in where my father moved out of our household. Mother, a stay at home mom, had to pick up a job to feed her one and only. I can count on my hand how many times I've seen him since I was 13/14. I'm 29 now. This is a major problem. Not for me, not in OUR community, but in our society.
I've shed my tears and punched walls many years ago over this matter. But, it is something that still creeps up on you and makes you wonder what possesses a man not to want to care or be apart of his/her child's life. It's not something I can even come close to empathize. The pure foundation of being a man is having a sense of responsibility. A man who is not there financially or emotionally for their children is not a man. No IFS, ANDS OR BUTS about it. One thing that I am certain of, is that there is a positive correlation between the lack of fathers in our households and the number of black men filling our prisons. No one can tell me any different, but that's a story for another day.
Many events over the past 12 months have put things into focus for me. Things that I thought were deep into my past have reared its ugly head once again. As a man who does not let much get to him or someone to get over on him, I've learned that some things are just meant to be let go. But one this is for certain, I wake up every single day trying to be a better man. A man who is cordial with everyone he meets. One that greets people with a smile. A man who treats people exactly the way he likes to be treated. But, most of all, I've striven to be a better man than my father ever was. I don't know if it's the right thing to shoot for, but damnit I know it's the greatest motivator I've been given. It's the path less taken, but it's the only path I'm accustomed to taking.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Chase...
Are you the chaser or the chasee? And yes, I know what you're thinking. "Chasee" is not even a word, Izzo. I'm just trying to make a damn point, SHEESH. Some of y'all need to stop judging Izzo. And yes, I sometime speak in third person, LOL. And now, since I've established my point, I'd like bring up an important issue me and the homies seem to struggle with. Ladies & gentlemen, THE CHASE.
This is a very complicated matter. Men have come to a crossroad, in which they don't know whether they should engage in the chase due to the abundance of "independent women". This is NO knock to the independent woman. Men are extremely attracted to this type of lady. But, sometimes it just comes to the point where we feel as if that woman "can do better all by herself". That vibe is a killjoy at times. Every man wants a woman who possess a small amount of that "damsel in distress" quality. A gentleman likes to have purpose. He likes to sweep her off her feet. He enjoys picking up the check, opening doors, and yadda yadda yadda. You catch my point. A man needs purpose or else he feels lost.
Purpose isn't a trait that every man possess. So, every man that pursues a woman is NOT neccessarily on THE CHASE. A quick pursuit is not THE CHASE. If he gets the number, calls/texts a lady, goes out with her a couple times and suddenly stops making contact, that's a quick pursuit. Many women ask me, "Why did he all of a sudden stop calling me?" First question that I ask is, "Did you let him smash?" YES I say "smash", SUE ME lol. But, normally the answer is NO. If this answer is truthful though is always up for debate, but some men will keep the wheels moving if little or no action takes place. Very basic of him, huh? Well I'd agree but some men just aren't built for THE CHASE. Some men are scared of rejection. Yes, scared. Ever wonder why he just won't get right. Yup, you guessed it....he's scared of commitment.
Does it sound like I contradicted myself in the past couple paragraphs? I certainly think I did. But, I will make it plain and simple to ya. Men are a walking contradiction at most times. We want all the characteristics of a relationship but yet aren't willing to put in the blood, sweat and tears to maintain one or better yet, achieve one. THE CHASE tires us and makes us afraid of getting our poor little egos crush. We use a woman's strength as an excuse for our fears. But, can't let the homies catch us slipping. We can't let this chick tear us down. The part that humors me about THE CHASE is that it normally has a happy ending. Too bad most of us cowards aren't into fairy tales.
-Izzo
This is a very complicated matter. Men have come to a crossroad, in which they don't know whether they should engage in the chase due to the abundance of "independent women". This is NO knock to the independent woman. Men are extremely attracted to this type of lady. But, sometimes it just comes to the point where we feel as if that woman "can do better all by herself". That vibe is a killjoy at times. Every man wants a woman who possess a small amount of that "damsel in distress" quality. A gentleman likes to have purpose. He likes to sweep her off her feet. He enjoys picking up the check, opening doors, and yadda yadda yadda. You catch my point. A man needs purpose or else he feels lost.
Purpose isn't a trait that every man possess. So, every man that pursues a woman is NOT neccessarily on THE CHASE. A quick pursuit is not THE CHASE. If he gets the number, calls/texts a lady, goes out with her a couple times and suddenly stops making contact, that's a quick pursuit. Many women ask me, "Why did he all of a sudden stop calling me?" First question that I ask is, "Did you let him smash?" YES I say "smash", SUE ME lol. But, normally the answer is NO. If this answer is truthful though is always up for debate, but some men will keep the wheels moving if little or no action takes place. Very basic of him, huh? Well I'd agree but some men just aren't built for THE CHASE. Some men are scared of rejection. Yes, scared. Ever wonder why he just won't get right. Yup, you guessed it....he's scared of commitment.
Does it sound like I contradicted myself in the past couple paragraphs? I certainly think I did. But, I will make it plain and simple to ya. Men are a walking contradiction at most times. We want all the characteristics of a relationship but yet aren't willing to put in the blood, sweat and tears to maintain one or better yet, achieve one. THE CHASE tires us and makes us afraid of getting our poor little egos crush. We use a woman's strength as an excuse for our fears. But, can't let the homies catch us slipping. We can't let this chick tear us down. The part that humors me about THE CHASE is that it normally has a happy ending. Too bad most of us cowards aren't into fairy tales.
-Izzo
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Point of No Return....
Every man dreads this following phrase as if they were being informed that their nearest and dearest relative has passed away. That phrase is: "Sorry (insert name here), I only see you as a friend". The FRIEND ZONE or as me and the homies call it, THE PLATONIC ZONE.
THE PLATONIC ZONE
noun
1. a place in arelationship friendship where a woman has decided that this poor little piece of a man will not be embarking in the fun of coitus or cunnilingus with her anytime in the near future;
2. a place in which men would compare to the fiery pits of hell;
3. a place of hopelessness and wasted thirst
As a gentleman in his late 20s, I've dabbled in the friend zone 15 times too many -___-. I'm a very approachable individual who has had no problem making friends of the opposite sex. BUT, one thing has to be said to any woman reading this post. Don't take this next statement the wrong way or even be offended by it. A man is only truly going to develop a relationship of any type with a woman he has some type of attraction to. It is just how we're built. It's in my genetics, I just follow what I've been given. This will explain our susceptibility to the platonic zone.
There are several types of ways to land in the PLATONIC ZONE , but we will only focus on me and my associates kisses of deaths. As a former habitual platonic zone occupant, I can look back and say that much of it was my fault. I was guilty of the following:
1. taking WAAAAY too long to express my true feelings;
2. listening to too many conversations about an ex-boyfriend;
3. offering up too much of my free time when I could be kicking it with the fellas;
4. accepting that 2AM text and not notifying her of the booty call implications at that time of the night
5. going on a shopping venture to only be tortured by seeing this woman try on outfits that outlined every which curve she was blessed with;
6. being captivated by the big butt and smile
This poor fellow has been oh-so guilty of these dumb mistakes. Why did I stick around thinking that just maybe she'd see the sparkle in my eye? HELL IF I KNOW. Much of this occurred during my college days so I'm over much of it now. Hell, I actually laugh at most of it now. But, around every single corner is the PLATONIC ZONE trap. Every woman possesses it. You may not even realize you have feelings for a woman until it hits you one day and guess what? IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE!!!!! You were already in the PLATONIC ZONE 3 weeks ago homeboy. Sucks for you!
THE PLATONIC ZONE
noun
1. a place in a
2. a place in which men would compare to the fiery pits of hell;
3. a place of hopelessness and wasted thirst
As a gentleman in his late 20s, I've dabbled in the friend zone 15 times too many -___-. I'm a very approachable individual who has had no problem making friends of the opposite sex. BUT, one thing has to be said to any woman reading this post. Don't take this next statement the wrong way or even be offended by it. A man is only truly going to develop a relationship of any type with a woman he has some type of attraction to. It is just how we're built. It's in my genetics, I just follow what I've been given. This will explain our susceptibility to the platonic zone.
There are several types of ways to land in the PLATONIC ZONE , but we will only focus on me and my associates kisses of deaths. As a former habitual platonic zone occupant, I can look back and say that much of it was my fault. I was guilty of the following:
1. taking WAAAAY too long to express my true feelings;
2. listening to too many conversations about an ex-boyfriend;
3. offering up too much of my free time when I could be kicking it with the fellas;
4. accepting that 2AM text and not notifying her of the booty call implications at that time of the night
5. going on a shopping venture to only be tortured by seeing this woman try on outfits that outlined every which curve she was blessed with;
6. being captivated by the big butt and smile
This poor fellow has been oh-so guilty of these dumb mistakes. Why did I stick around thinking that just maybe she'd see the sparkle in my eye? HELL IF I KNOW. Much of this occurred during my college days so I'm over much of it now. Hell, I actually laugh at most of it now. But, around every single corner is the PLATONIC ZONE trap. Every woman possesses it. You may not even realize you have feelings for a woman until it hits you one day and guess what? IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE!!!!! You were already in the PLATONIC ZONE 3 weeks ago homeboy. Sucks for you!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Back to those good ol' days...
As a child of the '80s and early '90s, I grew up on the likes of great R&B artists who set the soundtrack to much of my childhood. Artists such as Luther, Anita, Freddie, Alexander (O'neal), Troop, Levert and many many more. The common theme of these artist was that ineffable feeling you get about that person who is most important to you. Pardon my use of "ineffable". We used lots of words such as this in my psychology classes at USC.
Music has always been something that's been deeply rooted in my soul. But, this all started the Christmas my parents got me my first AM/FM cassette player. This sparked my love for music instantly. I think I may have been 6 years old. For years, all I would do is record the "Quiet Storm" every single night just to listen to it as I did my homework after school each day. I swear so many these songs illustrated the most vivid examples of love I could ever imagine to this very day.
My "Quiet Storm" playlist has continued to this day. I have every and any slow jam that you could think of in my library. Anything from love ballads, lustful slow jams, and your begging you to come back to me songs. I've come to realize that my "flirtatious" ways just may stem from my fondness of this genre of music. But, I will never confirm or deny that. Judge me as you may but I tend to call women beautiful because no one has every told me it was the wrong thing to do. I've grown up hearing it said in many of the songs I've listened to night in and night out. And most of all I've felt it was something every and any woman should hear. No game here, just pure truth.
As I've gotten older, listening to my "list" has low-key depressed me since I haven't ended up with this mythical woman that I've pieced together in my brain. "Soft lips", "silky hair", "smooth skin", "body of a goddess" were all things imprinted in my mind as ideal qualities in a woman. I've grown to realize that is NOT reality. Well, soft lips and smooth skin is a must tho. Call me fickle if you must, but I'm not kissing chapped lips and flaky skin :). But I digress. Even the song titles spoke of love. Titles like "Quality Time", "If This World Were Mine" "Time Will Reveal" just state the obvious and yet take it to another level to explain the definition-less definition of love.
Songs such as these have taught me that love has and will always be about spontaneity, unselfishness, kinship, unspoken moments of understanding and respect. These songs made love sound so simple when I was a child. Now as I listen to these same songs as an adult and I view love as a complex algorithm that has yet to be solved. How could this be? How could my view change so much? Simple answer, Izzo has yet to experience that ineffable emotion. Year 29, still in search of...
-Izzo
Songs I've listened to during the writing of this post:
"If This World Were Mine", "Anyone Who Had a Heart", "So Amazing", "Here and Now" by Luther Vandross
"Let's Chill" by Guy
"Quality Time" and "I Can't Wait Another Minute" by Hi-Five
Music has always been something that's been deeply rooted in my soul. But, this all started the Christmas my parents got me my first AM/FM cassette player. This sparked my love for music instantly. I think I may have been 6 years old. For years, all I would do is record the "Quiet Storm" every single night just to listen to it as I did my homework after school each day. I swear so many these songs illustrated the most vivid examples of love I could ever imagine to this very day.
My "Quiet Storm" playlist has continued to this day. I have every and any slow jam that you could think of in my library. Anything from love ballads, lustful slow jams, and your begging you to come back to me songs. I've come to realize that my "flirtatious" ways just may stem from my fondness of this genre of music. But, I will never confirm or deny that. Judge me as you may but I tend to call women beautiful because no one has every told me it was the wrong thing to do. I've grown up hearing it said in many of the songs I've listened to night in and night out. And most of all I've felt it was something every and any woman should hear. No game here, just pure truth.
As I've gotten older, listening to my "list" has low-key depressed me since I haven't ended up with this mythical woman that I've pieced together in my brain. "Soft lips", "silky hair", "smooth skin", "body of a goddess" were all things imprinted in my mind as ideal qualities in a woman. I've grown to realize that is NOT reality. Well, soft lips and smooth skin is a must tho. Call me fickle if you must, but I'm not kissing chapped lips and flaky skin :). But I digress. Even the song titles spoke of love. Titles like "Quality Time", "If This World Were Mine" "Time Will Reveal" just state the obvious and yet take it to another level to explain the definition-less definition of love.
Songs such as these have taught me that love has and will always be about spontaneity, unselfishness, kinship, unspoken moments of understanding and respect. These songs made love sound so simple when I was a child. Now as I listen to these same songs as an adult and I view love as a complex algorithm that has yet to be solved. How could this be? How could my view change so much? Simple answer, Izzo has yet to experience that ineffable emotion. Year 29, still in search of...
-Izzo
Songs I've listened to during the writing of this post:
"If This World Were Mine", "Anyone Who Had a Heart", "So Amazing", "Here and Now" by Luther Vandross
"Let's Chill" by Guy
"Quality Time" and "I Can't Wait Another Minute" by Hi-Five
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